Why knowing your personal values can help keep your life on track
(approx 3 minute read)
The science is clear, knowing what your personal values are positively impacts your psychological well-being, overall life satisfaction and helps you bounce back from difficult stuff. Read on to learn how to define your core values and align them with your life goals.
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Has anyone ever asked you what your values are?
If the answer is no, then we want you to start pondering.
What are values?
The Cambridge Dictionary defines values as the beliefs people have, especially about what is right and wrong and what is most important in life, that control their behaviour.
Or as Tony Robbins surmises: ‘values are the fundamental beliefs that govern our lives’.
The difference between goals and values
Goals have a clear and final destination and happen sometime in the future. Good goals, we are told, should be SMART (specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, time bound). Unlike goals, values are never accomplished. Values involve continuous behaviour.
Why you should know your values
In his book The Confidence Gap, Dr Russ Harris gives three reasons for why you should know your values.
Values give us the inspiration and motivation to persist, to do what needs to be done, even when the going gets tough
Values give us guidance: they’re like a compass, they guide our journeys, give us direction and keep us on track
Values provide us with fulfilment as we move towards our goals
What the science says about knowing your values
Increases happiness….A study published in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin found that aligning your actions with your deeply held values fosters a sense of authenticity and purpose, which ultimately leads to increased happiness.
Help to reduce stress….Using “inner value” language can reduce both physical and emotional stress, according to Andrew Newburg and Mark Waldman, authors of Words Can Change Your Brain.
Greater resilience…..Dr. Laura King’s work revealed that people who pursue goals aligned with their values are more likely to bounce back from shitty moments.
Clarity of thought…A 2013 study in Science Daily suggested that students who were stressed were able to make better decisions if they wrote down a few sentences about their values.
My values
It’s quite difficult to know where to start when defining your values. I only defined mine about 12 months ago (I’m 37). So, I thought I’d share mine in case they inspire or get you thinking.
I didn't want to just have one word for each value. I wanted them to feel a bit more descriptive and personal.
1. Be curious about my internal stuff (in other words, try and lean into the uncomfortable / unhelpful thought patterns)
2. Be physically fit and healthy
3. Give things I care about as much effort as I feel like giving at that time (to try and not constantly put pressure on myself)
4. Proactively look after and care for the people I love
5. Actively seek deep and meaningful conversations / relationships
6. Have a growth mindset (when I’m in the right frame of mind)
7. Be kind to myself and others
A bit cliché but I’ve printed them out, framed them and on a weekly basis I might take a brief look at them to check if I think I’m living according to my values.
One word examples of common values, according to Dr Russ
He says there’s no right or wrong value.
Acceptance. Adventure. Assertiveness. Authenticity. Compassion. Curiosity. Determination. Fun. Honesty. Kindness. Love. Learning. Open-mindedness. Patience. Responsibility.
Tips to help you define your values
Here we’ve taken a few tips that resonated with us from an article on Forbes titled 15 effective ways to discover and articulate your core values.
1. Define what is important to you and why
2. Reflect on stories of powerful childhood experiences
3. Identify deep-seated non-negotiables
4. Consider the legacy you want to leave behind
5. Describe a moment when everything was ‘right’
A final word of advice from Dr Russ
Don’t turn your values into rigid rules.