Nine ways to help you manage your imposter syndrome, according to a therapist

(approx 4 minute read)

These simple strategies for coping with imposter syndrome have come from a psychotherapist who has seen hundreds of patients displaying traits of the much talked about phenomenon. 

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Men’s Mental Fitness recently wrote a story titled: It’s bullshit to say men don’t get imposter syndrome. 

The research was clear, men get imposter syndrome too. 

Our research specifically looked at imposter syndrome at work but these tips from psychotherapist Kate Hogan could be applicable for work life, family - wherever you feel like your imposter syndrome comes into play.

1. Try to obtain an awareness of where your imposter syndrome is coming from

“This is easy to say but not easy to do, self awareness is not an easy thing to develop or practice,” said Hogan. “But try and think back to instances in your life where there were situations that have occurred that have led to these feelings of imposter syndrome. Get curious about your past. Not miserable. Curious. Was there a sibling rivalry growing up that you always felt like you were second best to? Did a teacher call you stupid at school? Did your parents have super high expectations of you that you never felt you met, even if you’re successful today? Were your parents high achievers? Sometimes witnessing a family member doing well can build that pressure and those feelings of fraud as you get older.”  

2. Acknowledge you have an inner critic by writing it down

“Write down some of the negative things and self-talk that go through your head. Some people might not realise they’ve got imposter syndrome. You could just be feeling things like….’I don’t deserve this promotion’ or, ‘he must think I’m crap at my job’. It’s not until you see it on paper that you might see it for what it is,” says Hogan. “It’s easier to rationalise things when they’re written down. Don’t overthink how you write stuff down, just get a piece of scrap paper, or your notes on your phone, and start writing.”

3. Check you’re not filtering out all of the positive evidence of success

“It’s a common trait for people with imposter syndrome to just focus on the things that haven’t gone well,” said Hogan. “You could have a day of things going well at work but then one ‘bad’ thing happens and that’s all you focus on. At the end of each day - could be about work, life, anything, reflect on all of the positive things you’ve done that day - that will help you to build evidence that you’re not a fraud. Self-belief and confidence are built by evidence, not magicked out of thin air,” says Hogan.

4. Look around you, most people are feeling similar to you

“Trust me, most people are feeling very similar to you. I’ve seen lots of people, women and men, who are experiencing imposter syndrome. Once you work that out it can help reduce your imposter syndrome. If you don’t believe me, go and talk to a peer at work, a close friend, nine times out of 10 they’ll be feeling the same,” says Hogan.

5. Write down a list of all your achievements

“As I said earlier, there’s no better way to build that self confidence than by looking at the evidence that’s gone before,” says Hogan. “Write down a list of all your achievements. Not just today, but go back over your childhood, too. The achievements could be big or small. It doesn’t matter. The positive evidence may help you to re-frame the narrative you’ve built in your head.”

6. Accept that your imposter syndrome might never go away 

“These are tips that I give in therapy so it’s real life advice. But just because you read them doesn’t mean it will go away. You might have had imposter syndrome all your life so it’s unrealistic to think the feelings will just dissipate. It takes work and time,” admits Hogan. “But accepting could reduce the intensity of your imposter syndrome.” 

7. Don’t be so harsh on yourself

“It’s really easy to be bloody horrible to ourselves. Proactively try and show yourself a bit of compassion. No one is perfect. Everyone has their own struggles, they just present in different ways,” says Hogan.

8. A change in your life circumstances can bring about imposter syndrome

“There are times in people’s lives that imposter syndrome is more likely to occur. It can often happen after a big life change,” says Hogan. “You’ve had a baby and don’t think you’re doing a good job. You might feel it after a promotion or when in a new job. You might feel it coming into an environment that is a different socio-economic class than you’re used to. You might be from a different ethnic background to many other people in the room. There are so many reasons. Life is always changing so situations will occur where your imposter syndrome will bite.”

9. It could be the environment you’re in that is amplifying these feelings of imposter syndrome

“This is perhaps a little more focused towards work,” says Hogan. “I’m not saying you blame the environment that you're in as imposter syndrome comes from within. But there could be something about the culture of the company that you’re working in that isn’t supportive, isn’t confidence building, that exacerbates these feelings. The company may not be the right fit for you.”