The 12 things I learnt in 20 years of training and coaching the best - and worst - leaders

(approx 4 minute read)

Want to become a better leader? Then read these nuggets of wisdom from an expert in leadership coaching.

“Being a good leader is damn hard,” says Lynne Walker, a consultant with 20 years’ experience devising and implementing leadership coaching and training programmes for the likes of the Foreign Office.

If you didn’t know, the Foreign Office, according to its website, is responsible for safeguarding the UK's national security by countering terrorism and weapons proliferation, and working to reduce conflict.

So Walker knows her shit, then.

“This stuff isn’t rocket science,” says Walker, “But so many people get leadership wrong. Leadership is a skill. It takes work, sometimes years, to be a good leader. Reading these tips won’t make you a better leader overnight, but it might at least get you thinking about your own leadership style.”

1. Authentic leadership: Just be you

“As Oscar Wilde said, ‘be yourself, everyone else is taken’.  This is the best way to be an authentic leader. Don’t come to work trying to be a different version of yourself. It will be tiring, exhausting. You don’t have to bare your soul but people want to know they’re talking to the real you. It builds trust. It builds bonds. It builds respect,” says Walker. 

2. You don’t need to be an extrovert to be a great leader

“The world is run by extroverts but this is not necessarily a good thing,” says Walker. “There is room for all types of leader. The difference between introversion and extroversion is sometimes misunderstood. Simply put, it’s about where a person gets their energy from. An extrovert thrives in company and their batteries are topped up by being with people. An introvert enjoys company too but their batteries are topped up by getting some quiet time. Just because you might want some quiet time doesn’t mean you can’t be a great leader.”

3. Active listening: Great leaders are good listeners 

“We have two ears and one mouth for a reason, to listen first and talk second,” says Walker. “Properly listen and really hear what your team has to say even if you don’t agree. The leader doesn’t have to do what their team is asking or suggesting. However, explaining that you’ve heard what they say but are doing x, y and z for this reason means they’ll feel like they’ve been heard.”

4. Really get to know the people under your stewardship 

“The pace of the modern world often blinds us to the fact that we are people with actual lives. The best leaders don’t just talk to people about work, they find out about their family, their partner, their dog’s name, they find out what inspires them,” says Walker. “The leaders that get to know their team will understand what makes them tick and therefore get the best out of them.”  

5. Be clear, be consistent 

“Great leaders give their team absolute clarity on the task in hand - no matter the size or scale. Once objectives / jobs / roles are agreed, be crystal clear on what you want to see happen and when. Senior staff do come under serious pressure sometimes but the best leaders are the ones that remain consistent in their requests and don’t flip flop around,” admits Walker. 

6. Always provide constructive feedback

“The best leaders provide clear feedback. Making changes to people’s work is fine, but explain why you’ve done something, otherwise there’s no opportunity to learn,” says Walker. “The challenge is giving that feedback in a constructive way, which isn’t easy.

“A very simple model for giving feedback is to begin with what has gone well about your performance is…. and give someone specific examples. Follow this with, your performance could be even better if… .again specific examples of how to develop.”

Criticising people does not help them excel.

7. Great leaders don’t surround themselves with yes people   

Walker says: “You don’t need to have a team of people who always say yes to you. Oysters need grit in the shell to develop. Find the grit in your team and pressure test your decision-making with them. You’ll undoubtedly come to a better conclusion if you and your team are stress testing.”

8. It’s okay to admit when you’re wrong

“If you are wrong, say so. Don’t be afraid to change your mind if there is a good case to do so nor to apologise if necessary. You don’t lose face, you gain trust that way,” says Walker.

9. Have a growth mindset  

“The best leaders know they don’t know it all, and they have the self-awareness / emotional intelligence to know where their blindspots are - and they continue to improve those areas. Be a learner, seek out the advice of others, read something by a leader you admire, visit people doing similar roles. Never stop learning,” urges Walker.

10. Leadership conferences: Avoid (most of) them

“They rarely provide great insight, cost you a precious day and a lot of money,” says Walker. “Rarely did I find more than one idea/experience that resonated with me. That one idea might be key but enrolling on a course that better meets your own development needs is probably more useful.”

11. Mentorship: Get a mentor 

“We all need a mentor,” Walker encourages. “Someone we trust to talk with about the challenges of leadership and who in turn may offer opportunities for growth and development.”

12. You can be a leader at any level

“You don’t need to wait until you’re the boss to be a leader,” explains Walker. “You can set an example, show people the way, at any level.”