I wrote an email to my company about what it's like to be gay - the response was beautiful

(approx five minute read)

X wanted to do something at his work to mark the start of Pride Month. His idea, to share his experience of being gay to more than 200 people via an impromptu email. 

Image by freepik

Just because Pride Month is in June, doesn’t mean there aren’t men up and down the country every day coming out to their friends, family or work colleagues.

So here’s the email….

Hi folks,

So, it’s Pride Month again. Why does this really matter though, we all know everyone gets treated fairly now (it’s 202X after all), right?

I wanted to take the opportunity to say a few words about why I think Pride Month is so important. Before we talk about 202X though, let me take you back a few years (I like to think of it as “a few” and I’m sticking to it!), when I came out as gay at the age of 16 years - I realise I am lucky to know and accept who I was at such a young age, for so many it takes so much longer, if at all.

“Coming out as gay” was undoubtedly one of the biggest ordeals of my life – I was terrified of how all my family and friends would react and whether they would disown me (a real fear that sadly for other friends of mine became a reality). My dad was an older generation, a policeman with very traditional views and opinions, and I suspected he wouldn’t accept me for who I truly was. As I say, terrified.

I was one of the “lucky” ones though. Sure, my dad and I had an EastEnders style showdown in the street that resulted in us not speaking for several months (although with time, he became my biggest supporter), I was horrendously bullied at high school and university, I was verbally abused in the street numerous times - including having eggs and yoghurt thrown at me on separate occasions, and I was once physically attacked walking home in XXXX. The journey of coming out was not always a positive experience for me that is for sure, and the impact of those events still haunt me occasionally today, however, for others it can be so much worse.

As I reflect on Pride Month, I see all the amazing steps the world has made around acceptance for the LGBTQ+ community – the upcoming generations have such incredible, open discussions around acceptance and identity that I could never have dreamed of when I was at school. Equally however, I still hear of bullying, discrimination and physical attacks taking place, people scared to be their true self for fear of abuse, harm or frankly, for their lives. This is why Pride Month is important; to raise awareness, educate, further building acceptance and enabling everyone to feel safe to be their authentic self, at home and at work.

At XXXX, I am proud to say, we accept everyone for who they are, regardless of any characteristic or background. We understand that diversity and inclusion strengthens our organisation, not weakens it. Despite my own insecurities based on the aforementioned experiences, I feel accepted, heard, and valued, for who I am – one of the few things in life I always hoped for.

As part of the Leadership Team, I regularly think about the importance of leading by example and helping raise awareness around the importance of diversity and inclusion. So todayI put myself out there to share a bit about my journey in the hope that if anyone else relates to this, feels unsure about who they are, how they identify or are fearful for experiences they’ve had or may still be having – please know you are not alone, and support is out there (including me if anyone needs a friendly, non-judgmental ear).

I was not sure what compelled me to write and send this email to my company. I just felt compelled to do it. I believe in the power of a shared story.

I had a few dozen colleagues respond personally to my email. Every response was beautiful. Not only people showing kindness that I’d shared my story but sharing their story in return. Not just gay people. People from different ethnicities saying they could relate to a lot of the things I’d experienced.

Did I think fuck fuck fuck before I pressed send? Hell yeah. 

I’m bloody glad I sent it, though.