Coping with pet loss: “I had to return our puppy after 10 days because my daughter was allergic - it broke me”
(approx 3 minute read)
A few years of convincing and X finally got the family puppy he’d craved. Unfortunately, the supposedly hypoallergenic dog wasn’t. His daughter was severely allergic. After just 10 days Daisy was returned to the breeders. To his surprise it left X utterly devastated.
My wife told me she couldn’t do it, she couldn’t take Daisy back to the breeders. The kids didn’t want to come either. It was left to me then.
I thought I’d be fine saying goodbye, leaving her with her mum. I really wasn’t.
Daisy, a Cavalier Maltese Poodle, had arrived 10 days earlier. I’d been the one pushing for a family pet and finally my wife agreed.
The kids are at an age where they no longer greet me at the door after a day's work, if they grunt at me when I get home I’m lucky.
I liked the idea of being able to look after and really care for something again. Be depended on a bit.
After much family deliberation we chose Daisy. We’re all quite allergy sensitive in the house so her being hypoallergenic was vital.
I was nervous in the days before she arrived. I’d not had dogs when growing up so didn’t know what it entailed.
The first few days were tough, like being a parent in those early days again. She needed us 24 hours a day.
A few days in we all started settling into having her around. I loved it way more than I thought I would and felt very attached very quickly. Little routines were developing already and I’d wake up looking forward to those. Even taking her out in the morning for the toilet put a spring in my step.
Unfortunately, it became apparent very quickly that my daughter was severely allergic and the mix of the dog meant it actually wasn’t hypoallergenic.
Her eczema was the worst it had ever been, all over her body, in her eyes. She was in a lot of discomfort but said in no uncertain terms that no matter how bad her eczema got they were keeping the dog.
My wife and I talked about whether we’d keep Daisy or not. Perhaps the eczema would settle down. But it didn’t.
We texted the breeder and they said if we were going to return her to do it sooner rather than later so she wasn’t apart from her mum for too long.
That made up our minds, we knew we had to take Daisy back.
I arrived at the breeders feeling okay. I let Daisy through their front door and she bounded straight up to her mum. At that moment it felt like we’d made the right decision.
I didn’t stick around as I could feel myself choking up as I said goodbye.
I got back inside the car and out of nowhere completely broke down. I was sobbing. I was shocked. I didn’t see it coming at all. I massively underestimated the emotional impact of returning a Daisy.
It took a while before I was able to drive home because I kept bursting into tears. I got home and cried on and off for the rest of the day.
I’ve had people die in the family and felt really upset but this was different. I was in physical pain from the grief.
For the next few days I felt very low, maybe even depressed. I didn’t want to do anything and nothing would cheer me up. I was constantly thinking about Daisy, worried we’d made the wrong decision.
After sharing the news with some of my closest friends, and a few days going by, the sadness did start to ease. My daughter's eczema cleared up and we were getting pictures of Daisy from the breeder having the time of her life.
Given we’d only had her 10 days I couldn’t believe the emotional distress we’d all felt. I can now understand how devastated people are if they lose a pet that’s been in their life for years or since childhood, it’s gut-wrenching.
I can also see why there’s often a debate about whether companies should give bereavement days to people if they lose pets. I would never have said that before.
Months later and we still talk about Daisy and look through old pictures or videos of her on my phone.
I’ll probably continue to take trips down memory lane until we get another dog. That’s definitely on my radar.